Tuesday, June 14, 2011

"It's a Lush Life, B****!"

This is a Sandra London Flashback, which was originally written in late 2006, during my first-ever trip to The City...You know, the one. The City with "sex" in it ;) (Whoops, did I lose you there?)

Without further ado-Sandra London (Jan 2011)

Buckle up, New York-No Excuses! -Originally published in Nov 2006
Mood: chipper

Reserving this spot for a future detailed update. However, let me just say, I havent been in New York for even twenty-four hours and, yet, I have a lifetime of stories to tell.

Went from Burbank to Phoenix to Baltimore to Long Island for $200. (Go Southwest!)

I swear, the staff on the flight were straight out of Soul Plane! And I'll just leave it at that!

Hired a car service from Long Island to the Upper East Side.

The Turkish limo driver buddied up to me instantly, bemoaning the lack of a "real" girlfriend. 

He wanted me to help him find a love connection, Muslim-preferred, who doesn't just want him for money or gifts.

Right.  Like I know anything about THAT. ;) (smile!)

Danced my heart out within the members-only lounge of Cipriani in midtown, 

Brunched at Kitchenette in Morningside near Columbia U. 

Indulged in a moderate shopping spree on Madison Avenue with my lovely girlfriend, J.

Bought fancysexysl**  stockings from Wolford's and had to be pried away from wooly Michael Kors boots and a blazer that made me swoon. *Sigh*

My room is just big enough for a bed, tv, and dresser....

And I thought Parisian apartments were small!!!!

Be that as it may, it is definitely charming. And who needs a big place when The City is at your doorstep?

Oh, and what a city it is.......

It's a Lush Life, Bitch! Update-> Dec 3, 2006
Sandra London shot by Mark Thompson in January 2011

Mood: exhausted

"Narcissist, where art thou mirror?"

Sandra London January 2011

                                       NYC  Highlights

1) Thompson Hotel Lounge in the Village

The title of this blog entry, "It's a lush life, b****" , came from a random bit of grafitti scrawled on a wall a few blocks away from this lounge.

Kudos if you ever happen upon it.

Very schnazzy place with top notch dessert and peach Bellini.

Why, oh, why does Raspberry sorbet rock my small, self-centered world?

2) El Paso Mexican Restaurant

I frequented this place QUITE a bit, as it was only two blocks away from my humble abode.

Excellent enchiladas at wonderful, young-person-friendly prices.

Although, why is it that every time I specifically request not to have a certain ingredient in a dish that's the FIRST thing they put in it?

This seems to be par for the course almost everywhere. Meh....

3) Murray Hill

An ode to the beautiful four-story brownstone where I spent some time after my interesting guest apartment experience!

4) Mastering the Executive Arts, The Culture of Narcissism


The former I picked up at the ubiquitious The Strand bookstore.

The latter? 

In the annals of the aforementioned brownstone.

5) Spanish Harlem, Yorktown, Upper East Side

Pick a place, any place! Situated between the colorful Spanish Harlem and the posh Yorktown area...

My dwelling, The Macaw Guesthouse, was in a prime location for footing it down to Bloomingdales 

(40 blocks, woot! workout!)...

AND for hopping on the cross sectional S train to the Upper West Side and Columbus Circle. 


6) Downtown New York

The best area for New York restaurants and nightlife. 

Soho; Another night at Cipriani's; Savore's Italian restaurant for lunch, 

And a lovely evening of superb Indian cuisine at Devi which more than made up for the daunting experience at another regrettably unsatisfying Indian restaurant.

7) Limited Edition Jaguars

How's that for a phat ride? And, no, it wasn't mine. 

I WISH! Almost. 

Given that Jag's high-maintenance upkeep? No bueno! 

I have enough to worry about just getting myself dressed everyday (or not!) , never mind a fully-vetted luxury vehicle! 

But it sure was a magical ride!

8) New Yorkers 

Save a few less-than-memorable creatures, the majority of  New Yorkais were a LOT nicer than I presumed they would be.

9) Dinner for $1.25

 Egg drop soup and a drink for a whopping buck and a quarter.

10) 'The Surreal Life a la the Macaw Guest House Hot Tub'

Crazy stories abound when you put eight young people in a 4x6 hot tub!

Anyways....I will take 'their' secrets to my grave...

Or at least my hairdresser. Who knew?


Why is "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" by U2 the best song ever?

Heard this U2 song during karaoke night at Cipriani's (sheepishly, YES, for the first time ever), along with a Johnny Cash song (not Walk the Line) and I felt all giddy. 

For, like, days.

I still feel a bit heady. 

Cipriani's can 'chip my ahnee' any day of the week. 

Sandra London January 2011

                                  NYC Lowlights                               

1) Chin Chin

Ick. Upscale Chinese restaurant with icky food filled with pork, even when specifically asked to not include pork. 

Glad 'I' wasn't footing the bill! 

Not even their dessert redeemed the experience. 

Big thumbs down!

2) New Yorkers

I appreciate the blunt nature of East Coasters only up to a point. 

Then I start to yearn for the fake, syrupy smiles of the West Coast illusion (delusion?) that is Los Angeles

3) Getting lost

No fault at all of the city itself, just my scatter-brained arse....

Walked twenty blocks after getting off at the wrong stop while trying to navigate my way from the Upper East Side to Upper West Side.

Realized after the fact that a 1600 address is not necessarily on 16th street but rather on 52nd street. 

How's my math? 

I took a cab the rest of the way!

4) Cold, cold weather

New York is MUCH, much colder than Paris! 

Still glad I had  my sunglasses, though.

5) The 4 hr car alarm

After the madness of the guest house jacuzzi, how would anyone like to return to their basement floor apartment and hear( just outside their window, which is RIGHT next to the bed), 

an uber- sensitive car alarm that precedes to go off every two minutes for about, ehhh...four or five hours?

6) $1600/month rent (each)in SHARED apartment!!!!!!!

With never-ending noise overhead, out the window, and within the bowels of the heating apparatus; being lulled in and out of sleep incessantly by trains passing by across the street every 15 minutes.

7) Rats the size of ELKS

Walking out of the metro and heading 'home' and seeing rats that ought to be on leashes is kind of a wicked sight.

8) Haters

Having dingbats block the way on a narrow street and yelling erratically at me for crossing between them; 

A degenerate slamming his middle finger against our friend's limited edition Jag (It's called a good job, get one!); 

My being mistaken for a grade-schooler.

With these ****?

9) Being away from my buti...

Ever having to be away from people who make life that much more compellingly delicious

10) Retching

Was severly ill twice after two different nights of drinking. And not even to excess....I blame the veal. And the bits of grotty pork!
Sandra London shot by Mark Thompson in January 2011

~The End~

Pssst......For the record, I absolutely LOVE NYC, just in case you were unawares!!!

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Hello, sexy beings!!! I love to hear from my Live and Grind Readers. Please do leave your thoughts, commentary, questions or suggestions when the mood strikes. ;)

xxxo, Sandra LONDON of Live&Grind (Los Angeles/Europe)