Saturday, September 24, 2011

London Does PRAGUE 2.0: A Whirlwind of Whimsy(trip report)

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SANDRA LONDON/ PRAGUE 2011


      Doing Time in Prague 09/18-09/23




“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out”-Vaclav Havel


WARNING: This trip report tells NO tales of museum visits, galleries, cemeteries, astronomical clocks, or your garden variety travel stories.

Not this time.

No.

I'll sort of let you know why next time.

It's just, um, you know, what happens to a strange girl in a strange land when she's let loose from her playpen.

With little to no sleep.;)



SUNDAY, September 18th, 2011



             ~Air CANADA->LAX TO CALGARY~

Moseyed my way into the Air Canada VIP Lounge feeling quite weary because I refused to sleep the evening before my flight. 

I did not dare to rely on my own internal clock, nor a man-made one, to ensure that I would wake up on time. 

Or even know where the heck I was, if I did! 

I just knew I'd never forgive myself if I committed a FAIL before even arriving at Airport #1!!!


                            ***BITCH HAPPENS***


Ok, promise this will get better. 

Promise. 

But I'll sorta briefly summarize the disastrous encounter with West Jet Desk Chick at Calgary Airport:

Desk Chick 'simply' (and rudely) said she "didn't feel like" going the extra step (or, like, just doing her JOB) to supply the proper 'security pass' so that I could resolve my lack of sleep issue. 

Apparently, I'm enemy number one for aspiring to relax in an airline lounge I already had membership to because, I dunno, that might make too much sense. =(

I mean, come on! 

There were only...ohh...SEVEN HOURS between flights. 

Totally worth sitting gate-side for, right?

Mmhmm...right....

I dunno.

Maybe someone should "feel like" withholding her next check.

Just sayin'.

Sorry, but hell hath no fury like an Aries scorned!

So, wait.

I hereby repeal my apology...;) ~meh~

Meanwhile, in a somewhat unrelated narrative, I mused aloud about the the possibility of an Air Canada strike I happened to catch wind of when I was looking through my flight miles account and saw the warning headline

In Bold Red Print

Resigned myself to attempts to distract myself within the lovely land of Wi-Fi.

Skyped and typed and surely received a gaggle of funny looks from fellow travelling bystanders. 

Had been in such a foul mood for way too long that morning.  
In order to truly let go, I had nothing to lose by engineering a spontaneously random 7 hr comedy hour.

Thank You to my web-buds who could sense my discomfort, want of bed-rest (lol), and helped me zone the heck out!!! 

By the time those 7 hrs passed, I DID nearly miss my flight! 

Seriously, those A/B/C/D terminals in Calgary are cruel friggin' arseholes!

!Attention My Fellow Rolling Stones!

-->Gate A25 is not in the A terminal at all, really...<

                                      It's in B

And yet, still marked A

Aaaannnddd (Yeah, there's more fun!)


It is via a not-so-obvious-at-all maze of truncated walk-space....

Yep. See for yourself!


                    ~*~Finally Flying Friendly =)~*~

=> CALGARY, Canada to LONDON, England

Peaceful flight with perfectly pleasant flight attendants. 

A welcome respite from my seven hours of boarding gate bored games.


Plenty of leg room. 

Plenty of sleep. 

And for the small amount of time where I was not in dreamland, I amused myself with pages and pages of my favorite quotations I have permanently etched in Word docs. 

Oh, and the food was yet another delightful surprise!

I've hardly ever finished every little morsel of an in-flight meal on an airplane. 

EVER. 

This still tickles me to no end.



MONDAY, September 19th,2011



                      >TRAPPED-IN-TRANSIT<

Surprise, surprise! My US Visa Debit card was carte non-grata in the UK for an inconveniently long span of time, pretty much from the moment I got through customs onwards.

I was unable to withdraw ANY funds for several ungoshly hours=(   

Like, my funds.

Not credit.

TRAGIC!

Indefinitely. 

Or, so it seemed.

Used Airport internet in 30-50 minute pre-paid time slots to try and contact anyone on Earth who could offer advice or words of wisdom. 

Didn't happen. 

Couldn't even identify a coherent bank rep who could formulate an intelligible narrative to 'splain to me why I was seeing an otherwise 'healthy' bank balance account in the screen right before me which merely functioned, for an unsettling amount of time, solely as a random series of digits.

Why I was still left holding an otherwise useless pocketbook, the world may never know.

Just a meaningless plastic chew toy that called itself a Platinum credit-backed bank account to add insult to injury.

Well, Le Debit Card finally unblocked itself by some sheer mental willpower (or maybe it was my irritable brand of venom *shrugs*) and corrected itself in.... juuuust enough time for me to catch, oh, the third possible flight to Prague since I'd landed.

Oh, yes, my dears. 

It only took about... let's say, 4-5 hrs from when I landed.

But, hey, 4-ish hours of psychic tomfoolery does sound better than 7, einh?

Apparently, ya know, even though I had notified zee bank of my upcoming travels with plenty of lead time beforehand of the: 

*trip route,

*flight dates, and

*exactly When/Where/ How come 

They still decided it would somehow be cool to be all,

"Ehh, let's go ahead and put the smash down. Just like that."


                       =( (Sure, it's funny now =)

Zoomed through new line of airport screening with nary a sneer to jump on that flight to Prague as quickly as my legs could carry me. 

Fell asleep in one big heap.

Had a hard time staying awake, pretty much from that point onwards.


ELITE HOTEL-The PRE-Math

My classic boutique hotel choice, located in Old Town Prague @ OSTROVNI 32, PRAGUE 1 was a short walking distance to most of the major points of interest in the city. 

Upon my 9pm-ish arrival, I was 'walked' for the evening to Grand Majestic Plaza, Elite's sister hotel, as they were over-booked by the time I landed. 


                 @->NEVER ENDING SLUMBER@->

Slept like no other from 3AM until 430PM with only a small interruption at around 11 or noon to grumble,

" I'd like LATE check-out, thank you much!!! "

The Grand Majestic absolutely rocked my socks off. They were, in fact, a most excellent alternative to Elite.

Their salmon filet was like a gift from the moon goddess.

Was secretly hoping the Grand would just kind of 'forget' about my original booking and lemme linger the whole rest of the week. 

Unfortunately, they were booked from then on.

Or so they said.

I can definitely see why!


TUESDAY, September 20th, 2011


       --ELITE HOTEL CHECK-IN, REVISITED--

"76 UNIQUELY DECORATED ROOMS; ORIGINAL ANTIQUE FURNITURE; SPA; MINI BAR; COURTYARD WITH DAY BAR; COCKTAIL BAR W/ JAZZ AND LATIN MUSIC UNDERGROUND"

Yeah, I was sooo there and all over it! =) happy dance


                            ;) I'M A THAI FOOD*;)

Ordered room service Thai food din-din post-haste, which was really, really good!


**********
*INSIDE JOKE in reference to Master's assertion via live chat that "I" am not a hurricane, he tells me.... But "perhaps some other form of natural disaster. "



My reply was, "I'm a Thai Food" in my weak, wrung-out-to-dry retort offered valiantly, showing that things were so 'off', at least initially, that I couldn't help but to look at is a comedy of errors.  (And when I said, "Thai Food". You know, like "typhoon" or whatever....lol...get it? That's how my mind works. You feel me? Plz? lol)

*******

                                        /ON-BAR/

Opening Night Reception for the Summit was held at  ON BAR in Prague's 2ND District.

With laptop in tow (Oh, how convenient!), I chatted up a few website developers and content-buyers and exchanged emails and Skype IDs.


             ->TRAPPED-IN-TRANSIT PART DEUX<-

TAXI completely stalled out on the way back to the hotel from the reception.
DRIVER put the car in reverse, or maybe Neutral. 

On An INCLINE (!!!)

Like, three separate times.

DRIVER attempted to re-start the car , yes, 3 times before finally being able to gun it up successfully.


WEDNESDAY, September 21st, 2011


                                 TALK SOUP -------------------------          

Discovered, by chance, that one of the reception guys at HOTEL ELITE was Algerian and spoke fluent French.

Yay! 

Had a good chat with him en francais before...


            !!! Making Headway at HOTEL PRAHA !!!

Attended the 1st Full Day of Seminars at the European Summit

Complimentary Wi-Fi ran consistently throughout the hotel grounds (woot!)

There were multitudes of people sitting, chatting and converging in the trade show area, out on the back patio, and in the banquet rooms, club rooms, and presidential suite.

Attended a seminar hosted by Cash DORADO in the Presidential Suite and had a nice one-on-one conversation with one of their female representatives about affiliate schtuffs and web traffic generation.

Took a few pictures outside on the balcony of this stunningly posh suite, which boasts a stellar panoramic view of the city-scape.  


             *~SLEEPYTIME AND IL DOLCE SOGNA~*

Decided to give the Italian restaurant just across the street from Elite a try, as I'd read good things about it on a few hotel/travel review sites. 

Those reviewers were spot on! 

Good grub, indeed=Steak and Caprese salad <woot!>

Slept from 6PM 'til 430AM, then awakened with an insatiable urge for more nourishment.

Went on a late-night food hunt and bought a packaged Gyro sandwich, a tasty popscicle, and a bottle of Orangina.

Couldn't resist adding two cute lighters onto the tab, which were designed with the most adorable little animal critters you could ever see on fire....

<<<Wait, what?!?! Just checkin' to see if you're still following along! ;))>>>

Fell deeply, madly, in love at the first sighting of La DAME, herself, Miss HELLO KITTY batting her eyelashes at me from the mobile phone store. 

->Ok, maybe it was just the glare from the street lights, but still. 

I knew then that it was only a matter of time.....=)


THURSDAY, September 22nd, 2011




          UTHERVERSE.NET & THEVWW.COM 

Or, "F***ing with Fingers" or..."F***ing with Mice and Men"


I re-visited the Presidential Suite to see a presentation on The Virtual World Web and the exciting developments in massively multi-user online reality technology. 

I must say, this is a first for me. 

Soo trippy what is available out here in inter-space these days! 

The Utherverse does indeed take virtual reality to a whole 'nother level!

VIRTUAL EMPIRES never seemed nearly as interesting to me until I watched this presentation. 


                   MY SEMINAR 5:00-5:50 p.m.


Banquet Rooms A & B were nearly filled to capacity for my seminar. 

The Banquet Halls weren't, like, football stadium/colosseum-size or anything..

But still! *OMG*

My heart was all a-flutter. 

In a very good way. =)

Some of the topics covered included:

->WEB-CAMMING, 

->Amateurs/Pro-Am Popularity; 

->Solo-Branding; Real-Time Connectivity;

-> Consistency, track-record, familiarity

-> Why and how mainstream social networks are useful, even for adult content/promotion (indirectly, of course); 

-> The lure (and allure) of the tease; buffers; candid media 

Oh, and I must give a shout-out* to the two representatives who attended my seminar from IHOOKUP.COM, which is a Canadian-based adult dating site. 

Go and have a look-see, pretty please ;)

~Attn: The creators of IHookUp.com are interested in developing a new site/platform for camgirls. I hope my cybergirlfriends let their voices be heard about what changes or new features they'd like to see implemented. Just sayin'!~


                                    ^WORKING IT^

Made cool connections with companies like RivCams.com ("Yes, We CAM!"), SoFort.com, and an Australian-based LGBT adult conglomerate, GunzBlazing.com 


                              ***PARTY OF SEVEN***+1

Had dinner with the gang at UltraMarin

My meal: Steak with prawns and Pilsner Beer


                                 ;)  HOTPEPPERS.CZ

Modern, U.S. style cabaret/strip club in Wenceslas Square with champagne rooms, two-girl shows, and lap dancing available.


I humbly requested the whole group come with to see the real deal that I had only peeked at on YouTube the evening before my flight.

For research purposes only;)

Was treated to a hot blonde/brunette duo and lesbian show.

Bought a sexy tee from their gift shop.

I'll take pix in it soon, promise!  


FRIDAY, September 23rd, 2011


                         zzzSITTIN' ON EASY SEATSzzz

Found an EASYJET FLIGHT from PRAGUE to LONDON with a 21h55 departure for slightly less (about $130 savings) than my initial flight heading to Prague via British Airways.

Made sure to make a beeline for the MobilFone store a few hours before going to the airport. 

                                          I didn't forget! 

I made sure to get my super cutie limited edition HELLO KITTY SAMSUNG =)



                           oooROCKIN' DA BOAT BARooo 

All that talk and hullabaloo on the news as of late regarding imminent space poo droppings must have really gotten to me!

I jumped, more than once, on the stationary boat-bar I visited on an impromptu walking tour near Charles River during my last few hours in Central Europe. 

The boat would make the most gosh-awful noise when it rammed against the dock when other nautical rides would zoom past it. 

Oh, yeah, and I tried, nearly in vain, to capture the soul of the cutest little Scottish Terrier on-board said transport.  

->When I put my cam on my lap and looked away, he'd pose all picture-perfect. 

Yet, as soon as I'd focus and position my Kitty Cam, he'd go suddenly shy and turn away. =/

Joined in on socially-awkward Titanic jokes about sinking or falling through the floorboards of this aquatic apparatus which had surely seen better days.  


AND THEN..... 

Screeched wildly as I stumbled on the same loosey-goose piece of floor-board that had just been pointed out a few minutes before, as I descended the stairs to the cabin of the boat.

Apparently, Karma is a WestJet desk chick. 

Or maybe just loose, warm, wet flaps of wood. 

You be the Judge. 

(I say it's a toss-up;)


    eeeeeeEASYJET and The CRYSTAL LOUNGEzzzzzzzz

Surfed KTLA, CNN, and twaddled with Tweeties from the comfort of a plush sofa chair in The Crystal Lounge at Ruzyne airport in Prague.

Made rather feeble attempts to try and STAY AWAKE

Flight was delayed by about 30-40 minutes...

Read the ADULT WEBMASTER PROFESSIONALS magazine from my Summit goody bag while in-flight. 

Worked on editing and prettifying my saved Erotica in Word docs when electronics could safely be used and really, really wished I could even dream of sleep......

                                       


And Then.....?!?!?

                            
                  ->UK CUSTOMS<-


Coming Soon: Sandra Does The Kingdom ;) 

~Stay tooned, my darling virtuosos;))~


TESI ME**,

SANDRA LONDON

**NICE TO MEET YOU


P.S.: Don't let the lack of 'real touristing' during my short stint fool you.

I'm already planning a return visit.

I forgot to do something. =)


P.P.S: More trip pix coming soon.


UPLOADING......




1 comment:

  1. An amazing vid diary so far. Prague looks and sounds like paradise.. Your an incredible writer and a very beautiful girl !!! signed, first night at the dive ( brixton ) (;

    ReplyDelete

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